Decisions reflect how we see ourselves. The decisions we make tell volumes about us. I bought a horse six years ago that turned out not to be a good match for me temperament wise. I worked with her, hired trainers, read books, asked people’s advice, etc., etc. I was told she would settle down when she got older, that she just needed more ground work and other well intentioned advice. I thought about selling her and moving on time after time but always seemed to find a way to talk myself out of it (by trusting someone else’s advice). All the time I really didn’t enjoy her much of the time and never took her anywhere to do anything.
Finally, a few months ago (with my husband’s no nonsense counsel) I declared that I was done with trying. I was going to look for a calm, smart, willing horse. After scanning hundreds of email ads, talking with people and visiting some horses, I found Flynn last week. I had thoroughly checked out his breeding and history and when I met him I had a great gut feel about him. I was still anxious about my judgment though, after all, I had made the decision to get the mare. I called my husband and blathered on excitedly cautious about this and that and his good points and his liabilities and he said with characteristic simplicity, “Just buy him.” I will always remember how he cut through my jumble of fear and excitement with that simple statement. I whooped and hollered and bought him.
Now that I’ve had Flynn for a week, I can’t believe I put up with the mare for six years. At only 4 years old, he is calm, tractable and all around a pleasure to be with and learn with. Why did it take me so long? To use an acronym a client once shared with me, it’s an AFGO (Another F____ Growth Opportunity). It made me aware of how we sometimes make decisions and tolerate things for not very good reasons. Pay attention to your decisions, what you tolerate and what it says about you.